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Archive for the tag “Good Father”

17 May 2020

Making a Difference

It just doesn’t make sense. The news was bad. It takes time to process and after you do, it still makes no sense. You might think I am writing about the political landscape, but what I share is death. Death is bad news. It’s loss. It’s sorrow. But when it is someone who has such a bright future ahead, you just can’t make sense of why bad things happen to good people.

I lost my aunt a couple of weeks ago from cancer. She faced a long battle that finally ended for her. It was expected. But I woke up this bright, sunny morning going through my routine when I jumped onto Facebook to see what my friends and family had posted. I was shocked to learn of this young man’s life cut short by a new motorcycle and a good evening to ride.

I didn’t know him. I saw him around church. He was the kid everybody wanted to hang with. He was energetic and flashed a big smile. He spoke to everyone – even me – just one who passes by. I noticed when he left to go to college how everyone congratulated him and wished him well. When he came home, the people in his circle were so excited to see him. He seemed to be a really good guy.

But as I read the posts by my friends and church family, I noticed how big a loss this truly is to our church body. It’s a sad day. To make it worse, there’s no gathering together to mourn the loss. There’s no comfort of hugs as people come together to remember. I felt this loss when I went to see my aunt for the last time. There was no comfort found in mourning alone. But as I reflect on my aunt and this young man, I don’t mourn their loss of life because they are more truly alive today in heaven than what they ever experienced here on earth.

It’s hard to explain to those who do not understand this joy when we face these times of sorrow. We do not mourn as those without hope. We have the hope of Jesus – the One who defeated death and claimed victory for eternal life. Yes, we experience sorrow. But oh the joy we find in Jesus. If this young man’s legacy is as it appears to be, even in death his light will shine. This isn’t the end of his story. He already has a legacy even at his young age.

It was a death of a friend that reached into my heart and changed me. And I believe God can do it again with someone else who is on the fence looking in and wondering about their own eternity. My friend died at a young age too; a little older this young man. My friend was a godly woman. It was a tragic accident too. But what set this death apart from all the others I had experienced up to that time was she was around my age. It was shocking. I knew people died young. But not ones I knew. Maybe this young man’s death can be a catalyst for change in someone else’s life. I pray it may be so.

When my friend died years ago, I was faced with my own mortality. Even thought I have known about Jesus all my life, I didn’t know where I would go when that day of death occurred. You see, my life had taken a detour for a few years. I wasn’t living as one who had given their life to Jesus. Basically, I knew about Jesus, but I didn’t have a relationship with Him. I didn’t even know that was a thing.

From my years of church life, I just thought you said a prayer and it was a done deal. But when my friend died, I had to know for sure where I stood with Jesus. I began the journey to find Him. My friend’s death changed my life. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). We just have to trust God in our circumstances and remember He is our good Father who loves us and weeps with us in our sorrow.

We will all die one day. My hope is that you will know where you will go when you do. Let this young man’s life touch you too. We are to make the most of what God gives us – each and every day. God will make the most out of our days even when it’s such a short time. We just have to surrender each day as if it’s our last. This young man’s life has made a difference – even to the one who just passed by.

Jesus said to her (Martha), “Your brother will rise again.”

Martha answered, “I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day.”

Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?”

“Yes, Lord,” she told him, “I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God who was to come into the world.” John 11:23-27

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Posted in Faith and tagged , , , , , ,
29 Sep 2018
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Finished the Race

Please forgive the silence of the last couple of weeks. I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed. My mind just hasn’t been able to settle down on one thing. In the past, I have been able to write through the grief; but in the last couple of weeks, the words were not there. This time something’s different. Lately, I just want to run away or crawl into a hole and wait until the world rights its self again. Do you ever have those times?

The last time I wrote, a storm was approaching. The eastern part of the state was devastated by the storm. I wasn’t affected but friends and family were. Because of the weather, I was a little concerned I wouldn’t be able to see my Dad. He had taken a turn for the worst that week. I thought he would die before I got back to see him. I didn’t want the last time I saw him to be my last. I wanted a little more time to be with him. God granted me the time I needed. It was hard seeing him though.

Dad was so frail. He was once so strong – he could do anything in my sight. He was a guiding force to me and my family. He helped us to navigate the deep waters. Dad and I never had really deep conversations. Our relationship was different. We did things together. His love language was spending time together. So I spent a lot of time with him throughout the years.

When I was younger, I did as much as I could just to be with him. I chopped wood, raked leaves, mowed grass, anything he was doing I wanted to help. We washed the cars every Saturday even changed the oil when needed, played golf when he would let me. There were only a very few times in my life that I ever played golf without him. I was always his little helper whenever he went to fix stuff – he was a good fixer – he could do anything.

As I grew older, my relationship didn’t really change with him. He has been central to my life. The thought of being without his presence has been overwhelming. However, the grief isn’t like what I experienced with my Mom. I have been grieving the loss for the last two or three years because my Dad hasn’t been the same since he had an infection. His mind was not the same after that infection. He no longer called to say hi. If I wanted to speak to him, I had to initiate the conversation.

This is truly when I lost my Dad. It was a drastic change to our relationship. That’s when my grief started. The time I spent with him over the last couple of years is still special. He still told me every time I was with him how much he loved me. He was still there just not in the usual way. I spent as much time as I could with him whenever I had the opportunity. So when the storm came two weeks ago, I was desperate to get to Dad.

I was able to spend three days with him. He wasn’t awake much, but I was able to lie beside him and just hold his hand or touch his arm. When I left that Tuesday afternoon, I had a feeling it would be the last time I saw him and it was. He died early this past Wednesday morning. I was okay with that last goodbye. I didn’t have a last conversation with him like I had with my Mom. But the one thing I wanted to do with my Mom was to lie with her and I did that with Dad. I was okay letting that be the last memory with him.

It has been heartwarming to see the tributes from my nephews concerning my Dad’s passing. Who knew when we were taking those annual family beach vacations Dad was making such an impression with those young men. Apparently, my Dad had some interesting conversations with them up on the crow’s nest – conversations they say they will never forget. Dad also taught those boys a few things about how to love a family well. They saw my Dad’s love for his daughters and his wife.

Everyone who ever met my Dad would say – Jack loves his girls – and he did, really well. Dad’s passing will be deeply felt by all of his friends and family. He loved well, but we loved him well too. He is home with Jesus and with my Mom. When he took his last breath here, he took his first real breath in eternity. What a celebration he had waiting on him. I can’t imagine all he has experienced in the last few days.

I may see his earthly shell for the last time today, but he is more alive today than he has ever been. It’s not a time of sadness but of great joy. My Dad finished his race. He completed the tasks he was assigned. The future will not be the same as it was before his passing. But we have been made richer by his presence and the things we have learned from him. Dad is still the central to who I am by what he taught me. I am forever changed because of him and I want to honor his memory well. I love you, Dad.

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing. 1 Timothy 4:7-8

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16 Jun 2018

Happy Father’s Day

A couple of weeks ago, the family had our annual beach trip. I believe this was our twenty-sixth trip. Usually, we all stay in one house. This year, we had to expand to two or at least both sides of a duplex. There were eighteen of us gathered together this year. There could have been more family members but a few couldn’t make it for the full week or at all.

My Dad wasn’t there for the first time. It seemed a bit strange not to have the patriarch of the family there. This will most likely be the norm as my father has become more home bound over this past year. Actually, after last year’s beach trip, I really didn’t think he would have lived another year. This past year has been a bit rough for him. However, he seems to be holding his own right now. He will be turning 91 in a couple of weeks so we have been fortunate to have him with us this long even though he’s home bound.

I mentioned this annual trip for a reason. This annual trip lets me observe my nephews in a different way. My nephews have grown into great fathers. I can see their daily interactions with their children. I can see how much they love them. I mean, I know they love their children. But observing them on a daily basis, I see how they love them. Yes, it’s correcting them when siblings hurt each other. Cousins get involved in mishaps as well. There were injuries from splinters and a smashed finger; sickness is always a concern as well. The Dads always stepped up to help out. They were right there with Mom correcting, comforting and loving on their kids.

My nephews are representing God the Father well. I know this because of my own Dad. He represented God the Father to me as I was growing up. I have a good Dad. I have a loving Dad. Over the last few years when I have called my Dad, he reminds me before he hangs up “to remember my Dad loves me a whole, whole bunch.” He hasn’t voiced that reminder in a few months, but I remember him telling me this for last few years and it still warms my heart. I am loved and I feel it. My nephews are giving that to my grand nieces and nephews. They will know they are loved and they will feel loved.

For the “grands” it will not be a big leap of faith to recognize a loving Father in heaven loves them as well. It wasn’t for me either because of what I experienced through my own Dad. Yes, there were doubts when troubles arose and discipline was hashed out. But actually, that is more loving than letting us run out into the ocean to drown. (Forgive the beach analogies.)

Boundaries are given for our protection. Sometimes we see them as confining instead of liberating. We see a line and we want to cross it because we know what’s on the other side has to be better. But if God put a line in the sand, there is a reason we shouldn’t cross it. God loves us more than we can imagine and wants the best for us. The best is not to cross the line. However, if we cross the line, He doesn’t love us any less. There is nothing we could do that would cause Him to love us less. It’s the same regardless of what we do. But His best is to stay in His boundaries. That’s His protection.

When the line has been crossed, the Father will allow it but there are always consequences to rebellion. However, like the Father in the Prodigal Son story (Luke 15), God is always waiting on our return. His arms are open wide for our return. And He never condemns us – that’s Satan’s job. God the Father loves us unconditionally.

I remember Ruth Graham talking about her Dad (Billy Graham) when she had a failure in life. She rode up to her Dad’s house and her Dad was waiting in the driveway. He didn’t condemn her for her actions, but wrapped her in his arms and said “welcome home.” That’s how our Father in Heaven responds to us when we have stepped outside His boundaries. Remember God the Father is our good, good Father. His love will never change. He will never change.

If you have had a good father here on earth – thank God the Father for blessing you and your family in this way. Your Dad has been a good example of a good and loving Father in Heaven. Remember your Father in Heaven loves you a whole, whole bunch! His arms are open wide. You are loved. Know it and feel it. Happy Father’s Day!

“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

“The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’

“But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.” Luke 15:20b-24

Posted in Faith and tagged , , , , , ,
29 Jun 2017
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To My Dad…

You might think this is a delayed Father’s Day posting. For those outside of the United States who don’t know our traditions, the third Sunday in June is set aside to honor Dads. We have a Sunday in May to honor Moms as well. I don’t know when or how these two days were first celebrated. I don’t remember them being that big a deal when I was growing up. Anyway, this posting is not about Father’s Day. It’s a posting celebrating my Dad because of his 90th birthday tomorrow. My Dad doesn’t really enjoy presents. He could care less about them. His love language is spending time with him. So I will make the trip to see him and love on him the way he enjoys it.

My Dad has been my champion all my life. He has never let me down. He showed up whenever I needed him. Of course, Mom may have instigated the trip to me when I had my car accident. However, Dad has always been the one I turned to when I have needed advice or needed a helping hand. He was a great handy man and could do almost anything. I never had to hire a man to do odd jobs around my house until my Dad was no longer able to handle those types of things.

I was my Dad’s shadow most of my growing up life. On Saturday’s I looked forward to “help” him do those things around the house. Mowing grass, changing oil in the car, anything he did, I was right there with him. The only thing I couldn’t do was play golf with him on Saturday mornings. Even though he taught me to play when I was quite young, Saturday mornings were for his standard foursome. On one or two occasions, I would be allowed to go with him. He taught me how to drive a golf cart long before it was legal to do so. When I took driver’s education, the instructor wondered why I drove so well until I told him I was a golfer. And my Dad was the one who helped me learn to drive on real roads too.

My Dad is pretty special to me. Sure we had our difficulties during my teen years. It was a struggle one summer between my first and second year in college. I was testing my wings, and my parents were keeping me from such a “good” life. All my life, I had boundaries set for my protection to keep me from getting hurt or going down the wrong path. I could have so easily strayed (and did for a time), but they kept instructing (and punishing me) to keep me on the straight and narrow path. Of course I resented it at that time. But looking back on it, what a blessing it was to have those boundaries. I rebelled for a few years, but came back when I realized it was not the life for me.

Dad didn’t have an easy childhood. Growing up in the depression meant his family didn’t have much. His father had a small grocery store so at least they had food on the table. They had a small farm too and had pigs, cows and chickens. During that time, they were probably considered rich. Dad and his brothers were mischievous. Some of my best memories are the times his brothers and him would tell the stories. They would laugh until they cried and of course we would laugh just as hard while listening. Those days are gone now. Two brothers are with the Lord, and it’s hard to tell the tales without his sidekicks. So I guess my Dad did have a rich childhood, and it had nothing to do with money.

Dad has always been a good provider. There was nothing he wouldn’t do to give his girls their hearts desires (that includes my Mom too!). After my Mom died a few years ago, Dad would call me every night. Before he said goodbye, his last words were to remember your Dad loves you very much. He still reminds me every now and then how much he loves me. He is a sweet, sweet man. I love him dearly.

You know the best thing about my Dad? He was a good reflection of Jesus and God the Father. If you see some of the same attributes in this posting, it’s not by accident. There isn’t a negative thought toward God when I think of Him as a Father. Dad was a good example of what it’s like to be God’s child. Provider, yes. Protector, always. Loves my unconditionally, oh yes! Mentor, Mediator, and Instructor. God the Father does it all for me. Jesus is my Rock and my Salvation as my Dad once was for me as a young child. Dad gave me the example early so that I could grasp the concept later. When I need advice, I go to my heavenly Father now. When I need assurance and a champion, Jesus is my man. When I want my heart’s desire, I look to God to provide as He wills.

Dad did his job. He raised me and my sisters to be women of God and disciples of Jesus. Dad shaped my character and helped hone my skills. Dad gave me all that I needed to live a good life. Dad, I love you! Thanks for loving me as you do. I thank God every day for such a good Dad. May God continually bless you richly for the rest of your life. See you soon!

Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. “Honor your father and mother.” This is the first commandment with a promise: If you honor your father and mother, “things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth. Ephesians 6:1-3 (NLT)

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15 Jun 2016
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Father’s Day

Over the weekend, I reflected on our family vacation. A couple of thoughts came to mind that I would like to share. My nephews have turned out to be good Dads. All my nephews have children now and to see them interacting with their kids is very heart-warming. Throughout the week, I observed the interactions with father and son, and fathers and daughters. Right now, we have an abundance of little girls. The girls’ interaction with their Dads is a little different than the father and son relationship. The father interacted more robust with tossing the son about, while the girls were handled with greater care. But in all, love was very obvious toward their little ones.

I saw the Dads taking care of the children’s needs. When cries were prevalent, Dad was there to soothe the hurt. When falls happened, the Dads scooped up their child into a tender embrace. When words were exchanged, Dad came to solve the issue. There was discipline as well. The smack on the rear got the offenders attention. Discipline isn’t showing a lack of love for the child but a matter of training those young children. Regardless of the offense, their Dad still loved them just the same. The Dad would open his arms to his child, and the child would come running. Kisses and hugs were in abundance.

What I saw in those moments of a Dad loving a child reminded me of my relationship with my own Dad. My Dad will turn 89 this month. He isn’t the same as he was twenty years ago. Age has crept in and robbed him of strength and vitality. His interactions with me are different today as well. I still feel his love toward me even though his actions are different. We don’t have meaningful conversations anymore. He isn’t able to play golf with me now. It was one of the ways we spent time together. Now, we spend time sitting in front of a TV; or in the case of the beach house, we sat on the porch and watched the clouds go by. It’s different now. We can’t get the years back. It’s different, but the love isn’t. I love him just as he is today.

As I watched my nephews and been in a father/daughter relationship all my life; I have a good idea who God is as a Father. I know what it’s like to have a loving Dad. But even in my Dad’s love there is imperfection. There isn’t the perfect love that my heavenly Father has for me. I really can’t comprehend the perfect love that my heavenly Father has; I have a good idea because of my earthy Dad. But my heavenly Father loves over and beyond anything that I could imagine.

When the boys took care of their children, I saw how God interacts with us. When we hurt, He comes to comfort us. When we fall, He comes to pick us up. When our feelings get hurt, He speaks tenderly toward us. And when we do wrong, He comes to discipline us to correct us for our overall good. It is all done out of love. And when we please Him, He showers us in blessings too numerable to count.

God’s reflection is evident in my nephews’ actions toward their children. It makes me awestruck at God’s love for humanity. We wonder at times where God is when tragedy strikes. But God is still on His throne, still loving us, and still waiting on us to respond to Him. Tragedy happens because we live in a sinful world. It doesn’t mean that God has turned His back on us. He still loves us as a Father loves a child. Our defiant behavior will not be ignored for long before our loving Father will get our attention. Sometimes it takes a smack on the rear; sometimes it’s just a rebuke with words. But it never is done out of a lack of love.

I love the picture Luke painted of a prodigal son returning to his Father’s house (found in Luke 15). There wasn’t a day that the Father was not looking for the son to return. The moment the son was in view, the Father waited no longer; he ran toward his son. The Father wrapped him in the finest robe and put a ring on his finger. The son was restored to the family. God is the Father waiting for our hearts to turn toward Him. He is waiting to lavish us in His love. On this Father’s Day, remember God’s love for you. If you are a prodigal, it’s never too late to return to your Father’s house. He is waiting to wrap His arms around you and love you like you have never experienced before!

This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. 1 John 4:10-12

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22 Apr 2015

The Lesson

This past week I listened to a couple of messages – one on health and the other was a sermon – both on the spiritual battle that we all face in our minds. They were both on fear. The first message was from Caroline Leaf, PhD.1 She is a brain researcher and lecturer. She has been studying the brain for over twenty years. In her talk, she related that there are two emotional roots tied to our memories – faith and fear. Each memory has emotional components to them. In the brain, there is a place where memory is stored for long-term. When visible seen, the memory storage area looks like trees. The faith-based memories (aka good memories) will look like lush green trees. The fear-based memories (aka bad memories) will look like thorn bushes. Fear creates little thorn growths on the outer edges of our memory trees. (The fear-based emotions cause harm to the body.) I was fascinated with these ideas.

The next message was from Andy Stanley on the N Commandments2– the commandments that Jesus instructed the disciples in order to carry on with His movement. This first commandment in this new series is, of course – “Do not fear.” Jesus was telling His disciples all the time “do not be afraid!” He told them not to be afraid when persecution comes (and it would come). Do not fear man or what man can do to you, but fear the One who has control over life and death eternal. Fear God. We are to respect God. He has authority over life and death; He conquered death through Jesus’ death and resurrection.

In the early years of this new movement, they didn’t have a Bible; they didn’t have great instructions to live by – except what Jesus spoke and was passed along. The disciples followed Jesus for three years. They listened; they saw; then they were given the instructions to go to the world and preach the good news. Jesus told Martha when Lazarus was dead in the grave for four days (John 11:25) – “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever believes in me will never die.”

When Jesus was resurrected, they believed. Because of their belief, they no longer feared death or feared sharing the good news of Jesus’ death and resurrection no matter the consequences of the persecution they would face. They would go before governors and kings; they would be flogged and thrown out of synagogues, but they had confidence in the One who sent them. They became fearless and spoke with the authority that Jesus gave them – no matter what.

One of my own struggles is fear. I needed to hear these messages this past week. For the past couple of weeks, I have been in the place of fear because of my circumstances. But what I realized in the last day or two, if everything was gone and I had nothing – is this life or death? Why am I afraid that I will have nothing? God said He would take care of all my needs. I see persecution happening all over the world today. People are leaving everything behind and fleeing to safer places. They are facing executioners and standing firm until the end. They have nothing in the end, except the One who can save them from eternal damnation. That’s enough – nothing else matters. It’s time to release the fear and know that God is enough!

My pastor concluded his message on Sunday on the wisdom from Solomon found in Ecclesiastes 12:13 – Fear God and keep His commandments (Solomon reminded us that everything else is meaningless). Voids in our lives cannot be filled by stuff or people – God made us incomplete so that we can find our sufficiency in Him alone. Nothing else matters. When fear starts to creep in, I have been recalling a new song I heard recently – “You are a good, good Father – it’s who you are. And I am loved by You, that’s who I am. You are perfect in all your ways.”3 When I remember this, I remember a good Father takes care of His children – no matter what. We are precious in His sight.

“Don’t be afraid of those who want to kill your body; they cannot touch your soul. Fear only God, who can destroy both soul and body in hell. What is the price of two sparrows—one copper coin? But not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.” Matthew 10:28-31 (NLT)

1Caroline Leaf, PhD, “My Body, His Temple” teaching series by Life Today

2Andy Stanley, the N Commandments series, Part 2

3“Good Good Father” by Housefires II, 2014

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