Taking My Pulse
This year, I wanted to live with intention. We can do nothing of significance by accident. We have to intentionally make better food choices if we intend to get healthy. We have to intentionally spend time with others in order to become better friends. We have to intentionally read the Bible if we ever expect to grow in our relationship with Jesus. There are things we have to do in order to make sure we are going to live a significant life. I don’t want to waste what I have been given, and I don’t think you do either.
For the last few months, I have been asking God where I am falling short of living more purposeful in serving Him fully. Right now, I can feel Him taking my pulse. He has his finger on the vein that leads to my heart. He is pointing out where I have a trust issue. He is not condemning me for my lack of trust or my lack of faith. I asked Him to show me where I am having issues, and He is merely responding to my question. What I do next is up to me. I can either ignore it or I can respond as He wants me to respond. He has given me an idea of what I should do. I am in the middle of a wrestling match waiting on the outcome. Will my selfish nature win or my supernaturally given nature win?
I am reminded about a wrestling match between God and Jacob found in Genesis 32. The encounter with God changed Jacob. He was face to face with the human form of God. Jacob was holding on to receive a blessing. And only when the day broke did the blessing occur. God touched Jacob, which resulted in a limp. And God changed Jacob’s name to Israel because of Jacob’s new nature. Jacob means “He cheats” in Hebrew while Israel is said to mean “He struggles with God.” Jacob was a deceiver before the encounter and afterwards, moved into the promise that God had given his forefathers. Jacob became the nation of God’s people.
I said I surrendered to God, but have I really? This is where the pulse is beating right into my heart. If I am not totally surrendered in this one area, I may miss out on the blessing He has waiting to give me. But I have to be sure I am not surrendering for the wrong reason. It’s not about the blessing; it’s about the giver. If I can’t be surrendered to the giver of life, then I have real trust issues that need to be solved before I can go any further down this narrow road toward the Promised Land. I have to believe God is who He says He is. I have to believe He is enough for me. Jesus is my answer. Lord, let my heart beat for you alone!
Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. James 4:7-10
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