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Archive for the tag “character”

14 May 2014

The Mirror

I love to watch people. I love to watch people working out at the gym. Sometimes it’s to see what they are doing and if I need to add it to my routine. Sometimes it’s just to watch them for entertainment sake. People are funny. We are an interesting mix of humanity. It takes all kinds for the world to go around! I don’t watch people to judge them; at least I try not to judge. There is one fellow at the gym though that seems to be enamored with himself. He is always looking at his reflection in the mirror. Whether he is actually lifting weights or just walking by. His eye is always on the mirror – not at others – at himself. When I first noticed him a while back, I would chuckle – inwardly of course. However, I began to hear the Holy Spirit telling me this is how I should approach God’s word.

The Word is supposed to be a mirror. We are to study it intently, just as this fellow does at the gym. The mirror does us no good if we look at it and walk away unchanged. We normally check our appearance to make sure we are presentable to the world. The Word should make us presentable for the world to see Jesus in us. We are to look at it so intently that we will not walk away from it unchanged. The Word gives us a reflection of how we measure up to the standard God set through Jesus. Are we close to His reflection? Can others see Jesus in us? When we go to the Bible, the Bible will help us see where we stand. When we need to, the Holy Spirit will give us an indication if we need to repent in order to make us right before God. We are an imperfect people. We all fall short of God’s glory.

Repentance has been the word of late for me. I have wondered if there is anything that is keeping me from the full fellowship of God. I have wondered if there is anything that I need to repent from. I thought I had done all the repenting I needed to do. But as I look intently at the Word, I realized it’s the little things that keep occurring that I need to repent of. It’s my mouth – saying things I should have checked through the Holy Spirit before speaking. It’s the thoughts that have run through my mind. I don’t necessarily say much, but I do think many things that need to be confessed. There are also things that happen in my daily activities that need to be checked. Am I being a good steward with the things God has given me? How about the people in my life; am I helping anyone today? God puts people in our lives that are difficult to love. God uses those people to help us become more like Jesus. I don’t like those lessons. I just like easy things to take care of; but that is not God’s way. He challenges the comfort zone!

As I look at God’s word, I am reminded that I am far from where I need to be. However, I am so much further along than where I was. It’s just a process that is refined and lived out daily. I may not be looking at the physical reflection in the mirror as intently as the fellow at the gym, but I need to be looking deeply at my spiritual reflection. After all, I want the full fellowship of the Holy Spirit. I want the reflection to be more like Jesus. I want to draw others to Him. Nothing else really matters. Eternity is the only lens in which to view all things. We are an interesting bunch for sure. But God loves each and every one of us. Our character matters to Him. And He is in the process of making us perfect even though it doesn’t look like it right now. But eternity is right around the corner!

But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like. James 1:22-24 (NLT)

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09 Apr 2014
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Love Affair

I started a love affair when I was a mere child. I grew up on television. I loved everything about it. I loved the programs and thought they were my constant companion. Much of my time growing up was spent in front of the television. When I woke up in the mornings, I turned it on. When I went to bed, I turned it off. I remember when my Mom went to work part time one of the first purchases was a color television. Was there nothing better than that? I loved the programs so much that when a series finally ended, I cried like a baby. I felt like I lost my friends. As I grew up, I never fell out of love with my television. When I had to have an internship to graduate from my college, I decided to try an internship at a local television station. I was a business major and had no idea what I could do there, but I went asking. I graduated and the station called for me to return. I worked for the next five years in three different television stations. When cable started in the 1980’s, I was on board. I upgraded to a television that could handle the new communication tool.

Over the last few years, my love affair was revealed to me as a hindrance to my relationship with Jesus. It wasn’t necessarily bad, but it had a greater role in my life than it should have. I switched from cable to satellite in 2008 when I was cutting my expenses to afford my new schooling. In 2011, I dropped the level of channels that I received to the “family” plan. In 2012, the Holy Spirit started working on me about some of the programs I had been watching. Again, they weren’t all that bad, but it interfered with my desire of being holy in His sight. Soon after, I stopped watching one of my favorite shows. I made a decision that I wouldn’t watch any new programming. All of this was a process. I didn’t go cold turkey, but as the Holy Spirit guided me, I responded in obedience. Up until the last year, the Holy Spirit started working on me to remove the satellite dish totally. I had given up so much already, what’s the harm with watching through the satellite?

The receiver in my bedroom started acting up. I would get half of the channels for weeks at a time. I would call the company, and they would offer their advice on how to fix it. The fixes were only temporary. I struggled with it for over a year. But the real struggle was in my spirit. I knew I needed to let it go, but I just couldn’t pull the plug. With the Holy Spirit’s help, I began to watch less television. Then I did a fast for forty days – fast of television – after the super “event” in February. I think that was the catalyst to finally pull the plug. On March 21, the first full day of spring, I released what was old and began a new thing. I pulled the plug. The satellite operator wasn’t helpful in releasing this burden. They fought to keep me, but I held firmly.

In the end, I had a little anxiety over not having my constant companion. My love affair ended after fifty years. God has called me to another love affair. This one I want to become so constant that the thought of an intrusive television program will be offensive to me. My prayer is to keep my eyes focused on Jesus and no other. It’s only right to keep my mind on the honorable things and not the junk that is offered on television for entertainment purposes.

And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:8-9 (NLT)

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02 Apr 2014

Expectantly Waiting

A few months ago, I thought a flower bed had not survived the cold winter. I was encouraged the other day when I began to clean up my yard and noticed what I thought was dead was in fact a new beginning. When I looked closer at my flower bed, it was only dormant. The green was just beginning to peak through at the bottom of the plant. I thought I was going to have to start over. The plant was just waiting for the sun to shine and the temperature to increase. Growth happens after a dormant period. When everything is still and the plant is hunkered down for the long winter months, the growth is waiting on the right circumstances to pop out and become the beautiful landscape that it was designed to be.

My pastor had spoken the previous Sunday on Elijah. I was greatly encouraged by his message that God had inspired him to preach. I had been feeling a little down about my circumstances. The pastor spoke of the time when Elijah was just starting on the road to becoming the great prophet. Elijah had just spoken to Ahab, the King of Israel, about a drought that God was going to send upon the land. Once the word was given, God told Elijah to go to the Kerith Ravine. Elijah went underground (so to speak). While Elijah was waiting, God told him that the brook would be there for water and the ravens would feed him. Elijah waited for a long time. Scripture doesn’t give exact details except “some time later” the brook dried up. We know the drought was supposed to happen for three years. How long it took for the brook to dry up, I don’t know for sure.

I imagine the brook was like the stream that ran at the back of my parent’s property when they lived in the mountains. It didn’t carry much water most of the time except after a heavy rain. When I envision brook at Kerith, I think it was enough to meet Elijah’s need for that time. While Elijah waited, I wonder if he ever got discouraged. I mean really. Waiting by a small brook, having birds feed him day in and day out. No contact with others. Just him, the birds and the stream. It had to have been lonely, right? My pastor said this was the time of Elijah’s preparation. God had some work to do in Elijah before God could use him. Scripture is silent about Elijah’s conversations with God during those times. Being human, he had to have been having some conversations, don’t you think? When God when? Why God why? How God how? Elijah had to learn trust. Elijah had to learn patience. Yuck.

God had given me an opportunity to leave my job three years ago. My brook has been running for the last three years. I have had everything I have needed for that time. I left my job with the expectation that something else was right around the corner. That’s not what happened though. I have been in the midst of conversations with God for the last few weeks. I was reminded this is my season of preparation – this is the season of winter when I am still and wait for God’s timing. I was reminded when the brook dries up there was another provision for Elijah. As I wait, I am encouraged that new growth happens when everything looks dead on the outside, but the inside is transforming. It was the right message for the right time. Thank you Jesus for the reminder, you always have a plan even when it looks like nothing is happening.

I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. Psalms 27:13-14

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19 Feb 2014
1 Comment

Wasted Time

As I was sitting there watching the “Super” event – football and commercials, I thought what a waste of my time. Did I just spend three hours of my life, watching this for nothing? (Three hours, because I quit watching it after half time.) I feel cheated! I want that time back. Was it really entertaining me? Did the commercials match the hype? Nope. And nope. What could I have done differently? I am sure there are other ways to entertain myself than sitting here night in and night out watching TV. I am sure there are people I could call to encourage them. Or there were people I could visit who are lonely and need a friend. Even spend some more time in the Word and with God. Yet, here I sit every night trying to entertain myself for a couple of hours before I go to bed.

I don’t want to waste my time on things that do not matter. I feel like time is growing short. Maybe it’s just my age affecting my brain since I am well into my middle age years. But there’s got to be more to this life than just entertaining myself. There’s got to be more to do than filling the time with dribble. How would Jesus fill the time? Many times in Scripture, Jesus got alone by himself to pray. He would pray all night long or He would rise early to spend time with His Father. How’s my prayer life? Do I have the same discipline as my Teacher? I fall so short so much of the time. I serve a gracious God though. He knows I am still being developed to be more like Jesus. I have a long way to go.

But He hasn’t given up on me. He still waits patiently as I sit there watching my television; waiting on me to turn it off and turn to Him. One day, I will have the discipline. One day, I will not waste my time on things that do not matter. One day, I will have in mind those things of God. With every day that passes, I am closer to realizing the truth of who Jesus is and who I am in Jesus. With every day that passes, I am one step closer to becoming who I was born to become. I was challenged the day after the “super event” to turn off the TV. I have been successful in turning it off and tuning into God. I am still working on it completely, but I am better at than when I first began the challenge.

I am living the dream. I am living the life that Jesus saved me for. I am just not there completely. But one day, I will be. I am a work in progress! The time is not wasted when I focus on things that are eternal. I should honor Jesus as I focus more on Him and less on me.

I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them. John 13:15-17

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05 Feb 2014
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Ouch!

You know when you ask God to reveal things in your heart, He’s going to respond. I asked for God to do that for me. One of the things that God revealed to me lately came through a sermon by Joyce Meyer. She made a statement about one of her kids asking what she (her daughter) could do for her (Joyce) that day. At that moment, I had a flashback to the days of my youth. I would have never come to my Mom to ask how I could help her. Mom always had to ask me to do things for her. I was so self focused that I would not have seen her need in front of me. I wish I could say I grew out my selfish nature, but I am still working on it.

I remember so many times when the family went off to play golf and left my Mom home to cook our supper. My Mom truly had a servant’s heart. She never complained about doing for others. She knew we were off doing what we loved to do. And when we got home, she was always ready for us to sit down and enjoy a good meal. Even in the last few years of her life, when she was hurting she still managed to get through the cooking without a complaint. I was better in the later years with helping out in the kitchen without being asked. But it still makes me sad to think of how I treated my Mom without the gratitude for her caring nature. I know in her last days, I asked her forgiveness for how I treated her in my youth. She had already forgiven me long ago, but I still needed to say it once again.

When God revealed my heart, I saw my selfish nature. I don’t think my Mom had a selfish bone in her body; especially in those later years. She was so giving. I keep asking God to reveal my heart, and sometimes He shows me my Mom’s. I am still so far from perfect. But every time He reveals something, I can choose to accept the challenge. I know I want to become more like my Mom, but even better, I want to be more like Christ. As God reveals each area to surrender, I am one more step closer to living like His Son. I know I can’t do it on my own, which is why He gave us the Holy Spirit to help us. It’s through His strength I can do all things. Change doesn’t come easy. I will probably fail more times than not, but that’s okay. God is patient with me and will help me finish the work that has already begun in me. God is at work. I am still in the Master Potter’s hands. I am still being made into a useful vessel. One day God will have me ready for His glory.

Yet you, Lord, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand. Isaiah 64:8

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14 Aug 2013
3 Comments

Small Tasks

As I sit down to write on this particular morning, I am humbled by revelations on my character. Sometimes when I write, I feel that I come across as knowing all the answers or I hear such great things from God. I am just a sojourner just like you. Most days all I hear is silence. A few of those days I swing on doubt rather than belief. I have just read the first chapter of Jonah, and I so get his running when he heard what God wanted him to do. If it’s hard or something that takes me out of my comfort zone, I might have the urge to run on most days as well. Most days, I don’t believe I am going to do anything really great for Jesus. I believe He has tasks assigned to me just as Jonah had a task assigned to him. But I think in the grand scheme of God’s plan, they will be small tasks of obedience.

There a just a few people who are called to be Jonah or Moses or Paul of their times. There are many others who are called to be the support staff to those of greater significance in the Kingdom. I am sure there are even fewer who have a great vision or dream that God has placed in them. Whether we just don’t dream anymore or we’re just not prepared properly to receive it.

I am struck by the fact that God prepares us so much more for the tasks ahead for years before the dream or vision is revealed. Moses had forty years in the back country tending his father-in-law’s flock before he was given his great vision. It was the day in and day out tasks of learning how to survive in the desert with a flock – maybe sheep, knowing they relied upon him to feed them and water them. Moses had his support group as he led God’s people in the desert for forty years after their escape from Egypt. He was trained to handle the tasks of moving them about to find the water, the food and the shelter.

King David had years as a shepherd boy then a warrior before he ever became king. David had his mighty band of warriors as well as Jonathon. Jonathon realized his role was not going to be king, but he was a mighty big encourager to the one who was going to be crowned king.

We all have a role in God’s kingdom. We all have to be prepared for it. Each step of obedience is a step toward fitting into the role God has assigned. Each task accomplished is one more character building exercise. God is more concerned about our character than what we actually accomplish. It really takes the pressure off to know that it’s up to God and not us. We are to be obedient in what He gives us, but He has a purpose that He will fulfill, not us. Whew, it’s all about Jesus, not me! Thank you Jesus!

For I want you to understand what really matters, so that you may live pure and blameless lives until the day of Christ’s return. May you always be filled with the fruit of your salvation—the righteous character produced in your life by Jesus Christ—for this will bring much glory and praise to God. Philippians 1:10-11 (NLT)

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08 May 2013

May I Help?

One of my friends sent me one of those blast emails of the story of an encounter in a busy airport. Salesmen in the rush to catch a plane upset an apple cart. All of the men rushed to catch the plane, but one man turned back to help the young lady. It turns out the young lady was blind, and no one was helping her retrieve the apples. She was groping blindly looking for her apples and everybody was passing her by without helping. This email reached into my soul. I have seen this email in the past, but this time it opened my eyes. I had been passing others by as well. How many times have I passed others who needed help without stopping because I was too busy or maybe just didn’t see them because I wasn’t looking?

I remember having my own airport experience from several years ago, which has stayed with me. I was on a business trip with my boss and a colleague. We were leaving the airport on our way to a meeting. As we were heading to our rental car, we passed a lady who was obviously upset. I noticed her. My soul was stirred. But I kept on walking. What could I do after all? I was in a different city. I didn’t know this lady or what was making her so upset. I could justify my passing her by with all my excuses. However, this could have been a life changing moment. It could have taught me a powerful lesson or it could have been what she needed for a better day. I’ll never know how God was going to use that moment. And I let it pass me by.

For far too long, I have been avoiding encounters with those around me who are blind and need help. For those who are actually seeking sight, I could be the help they need to find what they have lost. Jesus spoke about the blind seeing, celebration happening when the lost are found, and loving others as one loves themselves. I hope I never pass by another person who needs the help without at least offering to help. I may be turned down, but it never hurts to offer. It may be inconvenient. I may have to sacrifice something. But what difference will it make? It could be the difference between life and death. It could be a life-changing, divine appointment encounter. I’ll never know if I don’t stop to ask.

“Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers? The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.” Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.” Luke 10:36-37

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30 Jan 2013

Gratitude

For a few weeks, I have been asking God what is hindering my relationship with Him. First, I received a call to be re-baptized. I believe God wanted me to give a public testimony of the heart change that has happened in me over the last few years. I was obedient to Him. Then I believed God was telling me I had a stronghold on my finances. I was trusting in the security of the money in the bank and not on Him alone. I followed through on something God had placed on my heart. I am sure I will still have to deal with this stronghold in the future, but for now I can move on. The next thing I heard was my heart was not turned to gratitude. After the Thanksgiving holiday, I hadn’t really considered gratitude to be an issue for me. But the more I think about it, the more certain I am this is a big hindrance in my relationship with Jesus as well as with others.

I was considering Christmas. I was thinking of presents – not in giving but getting. I like certain things from certain places. I would always supply a list for the benefit of getting the things I like. This has been the normal mode of operation during my Mom’s gift giving opportunities. This past year I was faced with the possibilities of getting things that are not on the “approved” list. I was complaining about that fact. When I heard the sermon about gratitude, I immediately thought of my conversation or complaining session. I was not thinking about receiving a gift from someone’s heart, I was thinking about getting something I might not like. I thought of others who get nothing for Christmas, and I felt very ashamed of my attitude. I also thought of the many times I received a gift but thought nothing of it. Looking back, I think I was more entitled to the gift instead of receiving it with gratitude.

I remember my Mom watching me and my sisters open our presents. She was anticipating our reactions. My reactions were less than what they should have been. I wonder how many times I have had the same attitude with God. Probably more times than not.  I can imagine Him sitting on His throne watching us as we “unwrap” His blessings. He is sitting there waiting on our reactions, anticipating our thrill of receiving such a great blessing. Then nothing. I am ashamed to admit my ingratitude to the many blessings God has given me. Oh, I might have offered a “thanks” to God, but I most likely didn’t really have the right heart attitude when I said it. I know God wants to give us good gifts. If the reaction is indifference or less than total gratitude, why would He continue to give us good things?

Yes, God has done a work in me, but there is so much more to do. My heart has been replaced, but I still need some heart surgery to fix the areas that are not beating in accordance with God’s heart.

Let them praise the Lord for his great love and for the wonderful things he has done for them. Psalm 107:8 (NLT) Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Psalm 51:10 (ESV)

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17 Oct 2012

Ouch!

Don’t you just hate when your toes are stepped on? In my self-righteous moments, praying for divine wisdom, asking God to show me what area in my life is hindering my relationship with Him – thinking, all is well in my little world. Not! Not too long after praying about what is hindering me to greater understanding, I heard a sermon that knocks me down a peg, steps on my toes and leaves me feeling about two inches tall. The Holy Spirit is not condemning me – that’s not the case at all. He is pointing out exactly what I did that is causing this blockage. I heard the sermon, and knew exactly what I had done. There was one point but two branches that smacked me on the head.

The pastor’s main point was: greed will kill the work that God wants to do in and through you! This sermon was from Perry Noble (Senior Pastor NewSpring Church). The title was actually on generosity – and I thought, “I don’t really need to hear this; I’m a pretty generous person.” That should have been my first clue. I also heard a sermon recently on insecurity. I think both are pretty relevant for this particular point through the Holy Spirit’s nudging. I don’t trust God to provide for my needs. I am insecure about my financial picture. I have said I believe God can do more than I can imagine, but I guess I don’t believe that relates to my financial well-being.

But greed can be about forgiveness as well. If I don’t forgive as Jesus forgave me, then I am being greedy. Greed is selfishness and focuses on my needs instead of others needs or what God wants. God can deal with the situation. We have to leave it in His hands. I am asked to forgive just as God has forgiven me. Jesus asked forgiveness for those that were hanging Him on a cross. Why can’t I forgive the one that hurt me? It’s time to let it go. It’s time to seek forgiveness, and ask to be cleansed of these sins that have kept me from experiencing His presence. I am ready to experience His fullness. And it only comes when my heart has been made clean.

If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:8-9

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