You know when you ask God to reveal things in your heart, He’s going to respond. I asked for God to do that for me. One of the things that God revealed to me lately came through a sermon by Joyce Meyer. She made a statement about one of her kids asking what she (her daughter) could do for her (Joyce) that day. At that moment, I had a flashback to the days of my youth. I would have never come to my Mom to ask how I could help her. Mom always had to ask me to do things for her. I was so self focused that I would not have seen her need in front of me. I wish I could say I grew out my selfish nature, but I am still working on it.
I remember so many times when the family went off to play golf and left my Mom home to cook our supper. My Mom truly had a servant’s heart. She never complained about doing for others. She knew we were off doing what we loved to do. And when we got home, she was always ready for us to sit down and enjoy a good meal. Even in the last few years of her life, when she was hurting she still managed to get through the cooking without a complaint. I was better in the later years with helping out in the kitchen without being asked. But it still makes me sad to think of how I treated my Mom without the gratitude for her caring nature. I know in her last days, I asked her forgiveness for how I treated her in my youth. She had already forgiven me long ago, but I still needed to say it once again.
When God revealed my heart, I saw my selfish nature. I don’t think my Mom had a selfish bone in her body; especially in those later years. She was so giving. I keep asking God to reveal my heart, and sometimes He shows me my Mom’s. I am still so far from perfect. But every time He reveals something, I can choose to accept the challenge. I know I want to become more like my Mom, but even better, I want to be more like Christ. As God reveals each area to surrender, I am one more step closer to living like His Son. I know I can’t do it on my own, which is why He gave us the Holy Spirit to help us. It’s through His strength I can do all things. Change doesn’t come easy. I will probably fail more times than not, but that’s okay. God is patient with me and will help me finish the work that has already begun in me. God is at work. I am still in the Master Potter’s hands. I am still being made into a useful vessel. One day God will have me ready for His glory.
Yet you, Lord, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand. Isaiah 64:8
I hurt every time I think of Mom fixing all those dinners when we were golfing. Her back was always hurting the last few years but she cooked any way. I wonder how long she had the cancer. I could just cry right now. I just wanted you to know that you do have a serving spirit. All the times that you came here to help me when I needed you, you will never know how much I appreciated it. Think of all you did for Mom when she was diagnosed! You have more serving spirit in your little finger than I ever have! YOU ARE NOT A BIT SELFISH! I LOVE YOU! Donna