Learning to Trust
I don’t know if you have gathered from previous posts or not – but I have issues! The one that God and I seem to be working on right now is my trust issue. I really don’t know when this became an issue for me. Maybe it wasn’t an issue for me, but it was for God. I have always had a sense of confidence in my own abilities. I was always self-sufficient. When I didn’t have something, I would wait until I could afford it or got over the urge for it. I never had to really rely on God for anything. I have always had what I wanted. I know God has provided for me (in theory) since He has given me everything in order to provide the comfortable surrounds I live in. I have a house, a car, food in my refrigerator and clothes in my closet. I have never been hungry – except when I want to be. I really haven’t had to trust much for my standard needs. I feel very blessed.
But is that really a blessing? When I don’t need to depend on God for my daily needs, is that a blessing? God likes dependency. Self-dependency means I don’t need God. If I don’t need God, I don’t seek Him in desperation. I don’t see Him as my Provider. I don’t see Him as a big God who has all the resources at His disposal. I have never really known Him in that way. He has never brought a miracle to pay some bill or meet some need. I have trusted Him for my salvation, but I have never really trusted Him with more than that. And He is so much more. I am learning in this season of life, how to trust Him. He is teaching me that He is Sovereign. He sees all; He knows all; and all things come through Him first before it ever reaches me. These are hard lessons to learn, but ones that need to be learned in order to grow in my relationship with Him.
This season of my life has given me the most peace I think I have ever had; even in the circumstances that the world would say is not a good place. I don’t have the abundance that the world says I need, but I have enough to meet my every need. I see what the world says I need and realize I don’t need a thing. There are things I would love to have. If I don’t have what I want, it’s because it’s not the right time or the right thing for me. I would love a sporty new car. I would love to fix up my house. I would love to have more money in the bank. I would love to have an income coming into my bank account that I didn’t actually have to work for! But are any of these things the best for me at this time of my life? Probably not, since I don’t have any of them.
Then I realize the blessings of material things are really no blessing at all. The sporty car is costly to maintain. The house with more things is just more difficult to keep clean. And of course, money could be more of a curse than a blessing – depending on my attitude when I get it! The love of money is said to be the root of evil. It will divide my loyalties between serving it and serving God. Life is much simpler without excess. George Mueller was noted for praying for his needs and by the end of the prayer receiving what was needed. His life was not full of worry, but full of prayer. He had a relationship with God that I desire.
Yeah, I have issues, but God and I are working on that. My relationship with Jesus is growing and eventually I will have that trust issue placed on the throne, laid down before Him, resting in His presence. I will know Him as He wants to be known – that’s the real blessing! One step closer to being the woman I am meant to be. The prize is not material blessing but being in His presence – nothing else matters!
The Lord is a shelter for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble.
Those who know your name trust in you, for you, O Lord, do not abandon those who search for you.
Sing praises to the Lord who reigns in Jerusalem. Tell the world about his unforgettable deeds.
Psalm 9:9-11
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