building on the foundation of Jesus Christ

Never Married, Never Alone

The blog title sounds like a book title to me. Maybe it will come together for one. I am an expert in it. I have never liked the title of being “never married.” It’s a classification of the singles groups. I think it is a very negative title – like we have fallen short of what we are called to be – married with children. I have never had the desire to be married or to have children. I don’t know why. I love married people; I love children (at least the well-behaved ones!). I believe there is a calling to being single, not everyone can do it. We start life as a single child. Most grow up to have the desire to be married. At some point in life we may end up single again. With singleness there are seasons of being lonely. I have had them. I experience those times less frequently now than I did in my younger years. I think it’s because my focus has changed within the last ten years. I have found when I focus on God, I have the feeling of never being alone. His presence is so real to me. When I am in those seasons of loneliness, I realize I am focused on my circumstance – I am looking down and not up.

There are brief times now when I experience “aloneness”. I have more of these times on holidays than anytime else. I can also experience them when I see families gathered together at church. Searching for a church is a really hard deal. People classify you right off when you come in by yourself. It used to be a rare occurrence when someone reaches out to the singles that walk through the doors. I find it is more acceptable now than ever before. The season of singleness is upon this nation. There is a vast host of us wandering around.

As I stated, I believe I am called to be single. I have no ties to bind me to a place. I am free to move about as the Spirit leads me. I have no obligations except to my own family at certain times. I have the opportunity to draw closer to God. I do not have a divided heart, time or priorities. Like Paul from Scripture, I can go without hindrances. I believe this season that I am currently in will be the greatest season of my life. I believe God will use me beyond my wildest imagination. It’s a long journey, and I am looking forward to the ride of my life! The best is yet to come!

Sometimes I wish everyone were single like me—a simpler life in many ways! But celibacy is not for everyone any more than marriage is. God gives the gift of the single life to some, the gift of the married life to others. I do, though, tell the unmarried and widows that singleness might well be the best thing for them, as it has been for me. But if they can’t manage their desires and emotions, they should by all means go ahead and get married. The difficulties of marriage are preferable by far to a sexually tortured life as a single. 1 Corinthians 7:7-9 (The Message)


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